My favorite course in the world is: Augusta National
My favorite golf quote is: "Someone once said that golf and sex are the only two things that you don't have to be good at to enjoy"
My Best Golf Accomplishment: [Not Provided]
My Dream Foursome is: Tiger Woods, Eddie Vedder, Bill Maher
My favorite golf joke is: And how they can invent a sport like golf...
"Here's my idea for a f***ing sport: I knock a ball in a gopher hole"
"Oh, you mean like pool?"
"F*** off pool! Not with a straight stick, with a f***ed up stick. I whack a ball it goes in a gopher hole"
"Oh, you mean like croquet?"
"F*** croquet! I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh f***, yeah, that's a great thing"
"Oh, like a bowling thing?"
"F*** no! Not straight, I put s*** in the way, like trees and bushes and high grass, so you can lose your f***ing ball, and go whacking away with a f***ing tire iron.
"Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you're going to have a stroke.
"F***! That's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause every time you miss, you feel like you're gonna f***ing die.
"Oh great, oh here's a better part, oh f*** this is brilliant, right near the end I'll put a flat piece with a little flag, to give you f***ing hope.
"But then I'll put a pool and a sandbox to f*** with your ball again. Ahhh, you'll be there thrashing your ass, jerking away in the sand."
"Oh, and you do this one time?"
"F*** no! 18 f***ing times!"
- Robin Williams, Live on Broadway
My Favorite PGA/LPGA Tour Pros: Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Sergio Garcia, Fred Couples